Take The Long Way Home - J&L
by charlhooliganx
Summary: (EastEnders) Joey&Lauren- Lauren has just returned from rehab and now that she is back in Walford she aims for a fresh start. But how will she react as she faces the many people she hurt? Will they be able to forgive her after all she has done? Based off the real episodes off EastEnders, not particularly sure how long this will be.
1. Chapter 1

I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my long, dark tangles of hair as I studied my appearance in the body length mirror. The night before had been, well... _interesting_ to say the least. Walking in on your Dad and his wife who were seconds away from ripping each other's clothes off wasn't exactly what I was expecting. Not that I was expecting everything to just be exactly how it had been when I'd left, but to be quite fucking honest, I was thankful for my sanity and theirs that I did _not_ manage to stroll in any later than I did.

I shook my head and turned my gaze down to the floor as I let myself crack a small smile at the memory. After a few more minutes of comfortable silence, I sighed softly and made my way over to the bedroom door, finally deciding on shoving my hair into a simple pony tail. I jogged quickly down the stairs and into the living room, my eyes widening in shock as I glanced at the time on the clock which sat comfortably on top of the black, metal fireplace. Since when the fuck did _I_, Lauren Branning, _ever_ wake up earlier than 8am? This whole rehab/counselling thing must have really fucked up my brain...

Negative thoughts aside, I smiled to myself and shuffled into the kitchen, bringing a hand up to rub the side of my face tiredly. It was then that I realized that I was the only one who was actually awake at this time of day, a little taken back since I'd expected Abi to be gulping down her usual cup of coffee and stressing over how the hell she was going to pass these exams or whatever. I reached up to the kitchen cupboards and grabbed 4 different cups, placing them on the counter in front of me. I chewed gently on my bottom lip, leaning over to the kettle and turning it on, letting the water boil up inside.

I raised my eyebrows and made my way over to the fridge before opening it, managing to thwack the door against my arm in the process. I winced slightly and peered inside, spotting the unopened packets of freshly purchased food from the days before. I took a couple of them out, balancing them in a small pile in both my hands and shuffled back over to the kitchen counter, placing them all down in front of me and turning my head towards the pots and pans that were dumped on top of the untouched oven. What better way to start the day than to stuff a load of unhealthy, shittily prepared goods down your throat?

-x-x-x-

"Lauren?" my dad suddenly called from my behind me, making me jump and whip my head round to look at him. He was leant against the kitchen doorframe, his arms folded over his chest and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the sight of his 19 year old just-returned-from-rehab, never-awake-this-early daughter tossing ripped up bits of edibles onto several plates. I finally managed to regain some consciousness and flashed him an innocent grin, before turning back to the counter and getting back to work.

After a couple more minutes, the tension rising between us every passing second, I felt his hand lightly gripping my shoulder to get my attention. I took in his usual appearance of a crisp white shirt tucked into a pair of smart trousers and smiled, "Morning, Dad. I was just making breakfa-"

"I see that," he interrupted me, my mouth slamming shut at the smidgen of harshness in his voice. What have I done now? "It looks pretty good," he pointed out, nodding his head in approval towards the plate gripped lazily in my hand. "So, uh, what's all this for?" he questioned with a curious glint in his eye, gesturing to what I'd been doing in the last half hour.

"What do you mean?" I asked with another cheerful smile, wiping the grease off my hands onto my pyjama bottoms. "Am I not allowed to make breakfast for my fa-"

"Lauren," he cut me off coldly, before softening his gaze as he obviously saw me wince at his tone. He sat down at one of the chairs and tapped the chair next to it, signalling for me to sit down next to him, so I did. He reached over the cups of coffee I had already put in front of us and placed his hand over mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze. A few more moments of hesitation passed by, until he finally opened his mouth to speak, "Are you sure you should be back so soon, Lo?" he started, watching as I slipped my hand away from under his and performed my signature Lauren Branning eye roll. He sighed and fiddled with his fingers, turning his gaze down to his lap before speaking again,"It just doesn't feel like you've been away long enough," he continued, a pang of rejection slicing through my heart.

"Don't you want me here?" I muttered sharply, slouching back in my chair.

He instantly shook his head in response, "No, Lauren. That's definitely _not_ what I meant, babe," Dad murmured and exhaled a short breath. "Listen to me, sweetheart. It is absolutely amazing that you are back and willing to prove that you _are_ ready," he went on, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck. "I just don't think that you're in enough of a stable condition to be facing the latest Walford dramas..." he trailed off.

I took a hard swallow and forced a half-hearted smile, straightening myself back up, "I'm sorry, Dad. I knew you didn't mean it like that," I sighed quietly, running a grease-covered hand through my hair. _Stupid idea, Lauren_, I thought. "I don't want you all to be worrying about me. I want you all to trust me. I know I was a complete fuck up in the past but I can promise you that I've got this. I know what I'm doing this time around," I continued, taking another deep breath to steady myself, "They taught me loads of things, Dad, back at the clinic. I know how to cope, deal with my emotions... that kind of stuff. If I don't even get the chance to prove myself then how am I supposed to?"

I closed my eyes and put my head down slightly, ready to take in the next 10 minutes of my father's usual ranting. A few moments passed and the series of shouting, screaming, eye rolls and insults I expected hadn't seemed to have come. It was silent... _way_ too silent. "Does your Mum know?" he asked unexpectedly, snapping me out of my daze. I raised m head to look at him and stared at him blankly. What did he mean by that? "Does she even know you're here?" he corrected himself quickly, clearly noticing my struggle in comprehending how to answer. "Surely she wouldn't have agreed that yo-"

"No," I cut him off with a brief shake of my head. "No, she doesn't know I'm here. And no, she wouldn't have agreed that I could come here. That's why I didn't tell her. She just doesn't trust me, Dad. I know she has every right not to after everything that's happened but if my own _mother_ can't trust me then who else can?" I inquired, hoping I sounded as serious, if not more, as I felt at this moment.

He nodded slowly, "Alright then," he agreed, standing up and smoothing down his shirt. "You have this chance, Lauren. Please, _please_ don't blow it," he concluded with a pleading glance, pushing his chair back under his table as it scraped along the rock hard kitchen floor and headed off into the hallway.

It was one of those extremely rare occasions that I actually agreed that my Dad was _right_...


	2. Chapter 2

"Joey?" I called out, taking a few steps into the R&R and curiously creeping my head round the door. My words got stuck in my throat – the man that had been constantly on my mind throughout this whole experience was stood with his back to me, stacking up boxes filled with the burning liquid I'd recently grown to hate. I took a hard swallow and watched him in silence, finding it a little amusing that he was completely unaware I was even in the room. Either that or he was just simply deciding to ignore me. I let out a soft sigh and coughed once to clear my throat, smirking slightly as he jumped and immediately turned round to look at me, "Is that for me?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow and nodding my head towards the boxes in his hands.

He stared back at me for a second, before snapping back to reality and shaking his head, "No, no..." he trailed off, quickly placing it down on the counter and drawing in a sharp breath. I didn't know whether to laugh or feel bad at the way he'd just reacted.

I smiled at his sudden concern, letting a giggle escape my lips, "I'm joking, Joey," I reassured him, watching as he cracked a small smile and hesitantly brought his eyes back to mine. We lapsed back into an uncomfortable silence, occasionally stealing sneaky glances from each other until I finally decided to break it once again, "I'm great, thank you for asking," I muttered more to myself than him, hoping my sarcasm would somehow break the tension that seemed to keep on growing with every passing second. I wasn't particularly sure if I had even come fully equipped to handle the awkward situation we were currently in, although I'd be lying if I was expecting him to greet me with a beaming smile and open arms.

"Yeah, uh," the raspy voice I'd grown to love so much murmured, "You look... y'know, compared to the last time I saw you," he continued quietly.

"Yeah," I agreed with a smile, nodding my head momentarily and shoving my hands into my pockets. "A lot of people have been saying that," I added, softening my gaze as I looked up at him. "Can I have a hug then?" I asked, grinning as I watched him make his way towards me before wrapping his arms loosely around my waist. I put my hands at the back of his neck, closing my eyes as I took in his usual, comforting scent. I really had missed him. _A lot._

After a few seconds passed, I felt his grip loosening and his arms drop lazily back down to his sides as he took a step back from me. I wrinkled up my forehead and folded my arms over my chest as I looked at him, "What's wrong with you then? It's not like you have a girlfriend to be worried about," I said almost inaudibly, slowly nearing myself closer towards him. I stopped and gazed up at his dark, hazel orbs, my eyes delving deeply into his. "Is this just how it's gonna be, Joey?"

"No, Lo," he breathed, my heart speeding away furiously in my chest. "I know, I just... do you really think you should be here? With me? Y'know, all that drama with us... wasn't that all sort of part of the problem-?"

"Well, there is no us is there? So, uh, that bit's sorted..." I interrupted him quickly, resisting the urge to just stuff my head into his chest and forget everything that had happened, begging him to believe that none of this was his fault. I did feel bad, though. He was feeling guilty and I hated that. He had no reason to be.

I watched as he swiftly turned away from me and grabbed another vodka bottle from the box, "Well, I'm glad to see you're doing so well, Lauren," he mumbled, a tiny pang going off in my heart. He couldn't even fucking look at me.

I chewed gently on my bottom lip and breathed in deeply through my nose, "I guess I'll just... see you round, then?" I suggested with a sarcastic smile, resisting the urge to roll my eyes as he didn't even turn to look at me, just nodded his head. I sighed and raised my eyebrows in amusement, making my way towards the R&R door.

I honestly did _not_ want to leave him feeling guilty.

After all, he was the person I had in mind during this entire experience. It wasn't that Mum, Dad, Abi, Whitney and anybody else weren't the ones spurring me on to go further. Hell, if it wasn't for them, I wasn't particularly sure where the hell I'd be right now. Our family were still pretty fucked up, but at the end of the day I loved them all to bits. And I desperately wanted to make it up to all them. No matter how long it would take.

The thing is the same thing applied to Joey. He was also the one that kept me sane during the times I was sure I was about to hit rock bottom. And when I eventually did, he wasn't there. But I knew that he cared. I _knew_ he'd been round to see me. I _knew_ he'd asked how I was. I _knew_ he'd tried to visit me in hospital. And most importantly, I _knew_ that he still _loved_ me, as egocentric as it sounded.

Every time I would look at him, he'd have this look in his eye. Not the moody, 'ya-don't-fuck-wit-me' vibe he normally gave off, but the sweeter, kinder, caring one. That was the Joey I fell in love with. And I knew he was still the same. To most people he'd be someone you'd want to steer well clear of, but not with me. I guess we sort of brought out the best in each other.

So that was why I couldn't really understand his recent attitude. I mean, surely he was willing to _try_ to get _us_ back on track? Even if it was just as friends, couldn't he at least make the effort?

Was I seriously missing something here?


End file.
